Mike's Big Book of Songs

New South - Clothes Dryer

my baby got a clothes dryer
i don't know why anyone would buy
a clothes dryer
ain't we got a line
ain't we got a yard full of sunshine

my baby she says this clothes dryer
got two settings one low one high
state of the art got a patent pending
i say baby if this
what the good lord was intending
when he made the world
he would have made a clothes dryer
but he made the sun and the wind
and that's why
i ain't going anywhere near that thing
give me two poles and a length of string

she says, o honey give it a try
you might grow to like this clothes dryer
i say baby when it spin
the whole house shake
getting that thing was a big mistake
it'll trip the breaker it'll start a fire
if the house burns down
i'll blame the clothes dryer
and then you gotta clean the lint
off the screen
i like it no better than
the washing machine

baby didn't i buy you that deep fat fryer
why d'you need to go get a clothes dryer
she says honey,
this ain't no ordinary appliance
this here is a break through
in domestic science
i say baby that ain't nothing but
a clothes dryer
and it gonna break once
the warrantee expire
three hundred and sixty six days until
i can throw that sucker in the landfill

now you might ask
why would anyone sing about
a clothes dryer
if i said no reason i'd be a liar
my water runs slow but it run deep
i say baby i don't want you to lose no sleep
but ever since you bought
that clothes dryer
you done the laundry and that i admire
but there's something i been a missing
ain't been getting no hugging and a kissing
since my baby she got a clothes dryer..

©2002 Mike West

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